RELATIONSHIPS
RELATIONSHIP MATHEMATICS	Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pre-gnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC	Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH	A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS	A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS	To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY	Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
MEMORY	Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE	Men wake up as good-looking (or ugly) as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE	A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE	A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
COMPREHENSION	There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman : before marriage and after marriage.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED	Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, cackling and poking me in the ribs, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
MARRIAGE, BEFORE AND AFTER	Before marriage, man yearns for the woman of his dreams. After marriage, the "y" is silent